I've heard a few different numbers on the approximate population of this town, but I'm going to estimate it at 2,000. That's 2,000 important people — the dogs.
Dogs are really what this town is about. They're at all the parties; they're actually friendly to tourists; and you'll never hear a dog say, "Oh ya? How long have you lived here?"
I find myself greeting people's dogs by name on the streets; I hear people gossiping about dog's romances and crimes; I see dogs as the important people.
8:00 a.m. — Xeno secures the perimeter with 100 lbs. of black intimidation. Ironically, the doggie police just happen to show up, but he evades them and prances back into the house.
9:00 a.m. — Kia gets caught sorting through a large Rubbermaid trash can, and quickly weasles away with something in her mouth.
10:00 a.m. — Pica trots down the boardwalk with bunny-like ears to the swoons of female primates. He owns the store.
11:40 a.m. — Jesse takes a bullet from a trigger-happy primate (porcine).
1:00 p.m. — Blitz bullies around the town, scaring primates catatonic and fornicating at his leisure. The apes all think he's the toughguy. I think he's the luckier of the two Rots.
2:00 p.m. — Charliegh ambles down Colorado Avenue with a beautiful primate behind her. She looks like the happiest dog on the planet.
3:00 p.m. — Tonka gets deflowered right out in front of O'Bannon's. That's true romance for a canine.
4:00 p.m. — Mabel's petals fell a while ago, but she publicly enjoys another romp inside the store. Maybe it was Wilson.
5:00 p.m. — Beast takes a blonde primate for a walk in the Mountain Village. It seems that dog has been aptly named.
6:00 p.m. — Buck hangs out next to a primate on a bench. He has eyes like Elvis, and attracts three times as many women. As far as Babemagnets, He is the King.
7:00 p.m. — Blade's howls echo off the trees and the peaks and the waterfalls. He's a towncryer that sparsely knows his own name. Man those Malamutes are cool.
8:00 p.m. — Zutnik lies there, still gloating over his scenes with Warren Miller.
We're gonna excuse that ego for obvious reasons.
9:00 p.m. — Choco pretends to be tougher than he really is, and impresses a party of primates with a joust. He takes a shot to the eye, and the facade is over.
10:00 p.m. — Kenai drops the lovey-dovey bit and sneaks off into a field. Sweet wolf by day, Jack the Ripper by night. Some of the livestock didn't quite have the speed.
Dogs don't lie. Dogs don't cheat. Dogs don't charge the "Telluride Nice-Price." Sure, they crap at inconvenient locations, but dogs are pretty cool.