Chunga! - (March 21 to April 2-)
Fear not to be the leader. If something gets in your way, pick it out of the treads later. Run it over and don't look back.
Coffee - (April 21 to May 22)
Yes, yes, YES! The best legal buzz in the world! Those poor people at the Bean that have to put up with our stupid questions, fumbling with change, lack of attention, and stupid questions. Friday, they had circus music playing. They should play it every day!
The Moon - (May 23 to June 21)
Party on Wayne... There are two Moons - the party that pays at the door, and the one that parties for pay. Now that's what I call a bar. When you are in position with the Moon, it's a stellar good time.
Freebox - (June 22 to July 21)
Give me you bored and your lonely. And a blender, a pair of ski boots and a 1976 beehive turtleneck with no sleeves. One go-go kneesock, a bag of replacement parts for a wok and a buffet of new friends. "The freebox is hoppin'!"
Daily Planet - (July 22 to Aug. 22)
Extra, extra! Read about the flip side of Reality. If it seems weird, don't move here. If you think you've got what it takes, bring your dog and your attitude, and stay out of my line on Bushwacker.
Powder Day - (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)
(cough, cough) "Uh, boss, I'm uh, (cough, rasp) just too sick to make it in. I'm gonna have to - oh! We're gonna close? All right, I'll meet ya at the bottom of Six."
Development - (Sept. 23 to Oct 23)
Where's the balance? We don't want more people, but they're our vitality, but the valley is only so big, but the parties could get better, but well, just stay out of my line! Yuk, yuk.
Dating - (Oct. 24 to Nov. 22)
Back away slowly. Do not look the creature right in the eyes, for it can charm you to its poison. Ahhh! Scary "L" word! Run away! Mommy, I don't want to go to school today...
Alas, the suffering does on. There is no antidote.
Gossip - (Nov. 23 to Dec. 21)
It's all crap! "Did you hear about Bueford's affection for cows? Oh, it's awful. He's out by the Texaco every night. He says he loves one. I saw her. Um, let's just say she's a little big."
Reality? - (Dec. 22 to Jan. 21)
Stumped him... It seemed like I should write something about it, but nothing "really" comes to mind. Doesn't it like, have stoplights and stuff? My folks always said, "Wait `til you're out of college, and out in the real world." O.K. Now what?
Weird - (Jan. 22 to Feb. 20)
I don't find anything strange about paragliders dropping into softball games, concerts in the street, rastafarians, alcoholism, hearing Pearl Jam in the market, snaking somebody's pink bike, town representation of marijuana legalization, listening to the Dead on the town-bus, climbing the side of a building if it's good, town council coup d' etat, tree massacres and living in a green, purple, red and mauve house. It happens every day!
Water - (Feb. 21 to March 20)
True splendor in all of its forms. A short sprinkle of rain on a hot day, or seven feet of powder in seven days. Rivers that fly like birds from the mountaintop and roll endlessly into the sea. A saddening tear, or a refund from beer.
Surf it, ski it, float it, boat it, be it.