Fact of the week: While Telluride has only one run open, Boyne Mountain in Michigan had a 60" powder packed base, with 18" expected accumulation and 17 runs open.
Quote: "There's a subway in Montrose?!" Kat Wood inquiring of underground public transportation after a really good night at the EMT Ball.
Item that can't be purchased in Telluride: Good underware for less than $19.86. Item that can't be purchased in Montrose: Underwear made after 1986.
What does a promise ring actually say? "I love you, but, well... I need you and want to be with you, but forever's a long time and I'm not sure, but pretty sure, well... I don't know."
Average number of stupid toasts daily at Leimgruber's: 27.
Strength of Telluride coffee on a 1 to 10 exponential scale: Conoco: 1.8; Texaco: 2.3; Baked in Telluride: 4.1; Steaming Bean: 4.8; Maggie's: "Our amplifiers go up to eleven."
Item that can't be purchased in Telluride: Dress shoes. Item that can't be purchased in Montrose: Anything but nude hose.
Average number of really terrible pool shots made daily at Garfinkel's: 9.
Hierarchy of Underwear: The order in which an individual wears his or her drawers, starting with the favorite pair, and downgrading to the really old, nasty ripped ones.
Average number of items weekly mistaken as "good purchases" from the Freebox because they were sitting there: 5; number of former owners that run after them to get the item back: 1. "Wow, someone left a brand new bike..."
Best way for a guy to buy condoms for the first time: Act cool, pick out three other manly items like carburetor cleaner, a gallon of vitamin D milk, and spark plugs; slip in "the little sombreros" unnoticed, and say, "Oh, how did those get in there? Well, I'll-a, take'm anyway."
Number of faxes received daily on the Ajax-Fax Gush Line: 18. Number sent by me: 1.
Number of pieces of bacon eaten daily at the TART Pancake Breakfast by T.D. Smith: 11. Yogi Kirst: 10.
What Montrose thinks of Telluride: "Bank account."
What Telluride thinks of Montrose: "Taste account."